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| "The Saddle Rack" Lines from The Leathertooler Slim McNaught |
| FEBRUARY / MARCH |
| March 2005 |
COWBOY LUCK
A lot of the stuff I write is about things that happened to me or someone I know. And then
there's the phrase or word someone says that sets my imagination off. Just like this little story.
This story is Mel Anderson's fault.
Mel had a book signin' for a book he wrote called, "Pony Tracks. Renegades and Ranchin' on the
Rez." He invited a bunch of us to bring our books and art work. He brought down his chuck
wagon and Hartshorns barbequed a beef and made cowboy beans and coffee. He had an old time
fiddlers band to play. He held this shindig in the back yard of the old Wasta HoteI in Wasta,
South Dakota (which has been restored by Lloyd and Margee Willey to what it looked like in the
1940's). I was there with my hand tooled leather and cowboy poetry books, so Mel told me that
when the fiddlers took a break I could get up and recite some cowboy poetry. Now, I only had
about two hours worth of poetry in memory and since this deal was startin' at three in the
afternoon, I was concerned that I might run outta memory and have to start readin' outta my
book. So I asked Mel what time he was gonna end this deal. He said, "Well Slim, I don't like to
plan ahead on things like that, we'll just let 'er go ‘til she runs down".
Now, that phrase stuck in my brain and I got to thinkin' that cowboys don't have to plan ahead.
No need to. Some folks spend a lot of time plannin' things that is gonna get them hurt or in
trouble. Take Evel Kneivel for example. First, he's gotta plan what it is he's gonna do, then
where he's gonna do it, then he's gotta plan ahead to when he's gonna do it, and then he's gotta
plan and figure how he's gonna pull it off when the time comes to do it. So after months of
plannin' he goes out and wrecks a motorcycle and breaks some bones.
Now, cowboys are really lucky people ‘cause they don't have to do all that plannin'. Them
things just come natural to a cowboy. You never hear of a cowboy that gets up in the mornin' and
says, "Well, I guess I'll see how many cows I can jump over with the pickup this mornin' without
killin' myself". Nope. He'd never dream of doin' anything like that. He'd tell you that's absurd.
Cowboys don't jump over cows with a pickup. So he gets in his pickup and drives out in the
pasture to check on things. Now, he's drivin' along there checkin' the livestock and grass and
water and lookin' at the fences when all of a sudden he kicks up this coyote out of some
buckbrush. Now, folks, I'll tell you one thing I know for certain. When a cowboy gets after a
coyote with a pickup there ain't nothin' sacred. You might say he's got tunnel vision, but there
ain't no light at the end of this tunnel.
So, they go tearin' off across the prairie and when he gets up close to that coyote, ol' Mr. coyote
starts zig zaggin' back and forth like they do when somethin' chasin' ‘em gets too close, so this
cowboy is on two wheels about half the time tryin' to stay with this coyote. All of a sudden there
ain't nothin' in front of him. He's come up to a draw and the coyote went over the bank down into
the draw and the cowboy is about to become airborne. Now, when somethin' like this happens the
only thing you can do is pull back real hard on that steerin' wheel and shove that foot feed clear
to the floor.
Well, he jumped three cows and a bull what was grazin' in the bottom of that draw and took the
top out of a big old cottonwood tree with the hind wheels on that pickup doin' a hundred and
twenty five miles an hour. He completely demolished a thirty five thousand dollar pickup, got
seventeen broken bones, and that coyote is settin' over there on the bank with a disgusted look
on his face.
Now, what's worryin' that cowboy more than the broken bones and the wreck is what that woman
down there in that ranch house is gonna do when she finds out the truth about what really
happened here. She just might go out and pull the neckyoke off'n that hay wagon and do away
with him just to save herself the expense of patchin' him up and replacin' that pickup.
Keep a leg on each side and your mind in the middle and you'll never have to walk home.
©2004 Slim McNaught
A lot of the stuff I write is about things that happened to me or someone I know. And then
there's the phrase or word someone says that sets my imagination off. Just like this little story.
This story is Mel Anderson's fault.
Mel had a book signin' for a book he wrote called, "Pony Tracks. Renegades and Ranchin' on the
Rez." He invited a bunch of us to bring our books and art work. He brought down his chuck
wagon and Hartshorns barbequed a beef and made cowboy beans and coffee. He had an old time
fiddlers band to play. He held this shindig in the back yard of the old Wasta HoteI in Wasta,
South Dakota (which has been restored by Lloyd and Margee Willey to what it looked like in the
1940's). I was there with my hand tooled leather and cowboy poetry books, so Mel told me that
when the fiddlers took a break I could get up and recite some cowboy poetry. Now, I only had
about two hours worth of poetry in memory and since this deal was startin' at three in the
afternoon, I was concerned that I might run outta memory and have to start readin' outta my
book. So I asked Mel what time he was gonna end this deal. He said, "Well Slim, I don't like to
plan ahead on things like that, we'll just let 'er go ‘til she runs down".
Now, that phrase stuck in my brain and I got to thinkin' that cowboys don't have to plan ahead.
No need to. Some folks spend a lot of time plannin' things that is gonna get them hurt or in
trouble. Take Evel Kneivel for example. First, he's gotta plan what it is he's gonna do, then
where he's gonna do it, then he's gotta plan ahead to when he's gonna do it, and then he's gotta
plan and figure how he's gonna pull it off when the time comes to do it. So after months of
plannin' he goes out and wrecks a motorcycle and breaks some bones.
Now, cowboys are really lucky people ‘cause they don't have to do all that plannin'. Them
things just come natural to a cowboy. You never hear of a cowboy that gets up in the mornin' and
says, "Well, I guess I'll see how many cows I can jump over with the pickup this mornin' without
killin' myself". Nope. He'd never dream of doin' anything like that. He'd tell you that's absurd.
Cowboys don't jump over cows with a pickup. So he gets in his pickup and drives out in the
pasture to check on things. Now, he's drivin' along there checkin' the livestock and grass and
water and lookin' at the fences when all of a sudden he kicks up this coyote out of some
buckbrush. Now, folks, I'll tell you one thing I know for certain. When a cowboy gets after a
coyote with a pickup there ain't nothin' sacred. You might say he's got tunnel vision, but there
ain't no light at the end of this tunnel.
So, they go tearin' off across the prairie and when he gets up close to that coyote, ol' Mr. coyote
starts zig zaggin' back and forth like they do when somethin' chasin' ‘em gets too close, so this
cowboy is on two wheels about half the time tryin' to stay with this coyote. All of a sudden there
ain't nothin' in front of him. He's come up to a draw and the coyote went over the bank down into
the draw and the cowboy is about to become airborne. Now, when somethin' like this happens the
only thing you can do is pull back real hard on that steerin' wheel and shove that foot feed clear
to the floor.
Well, he jumped three cows and a bull what was grazin' in the bottom of that draw and took the
top out of a big old cottonwood tree with the hind wheels on that pickup doin' a hundred and
twenty five miles an hour. He completely demolished a thirty five thousand dollar pickup, got
seventeen broken bones, and that coyote is settin' over there on the bank with a disgusted look
on his face.
Now, what's worryin' that cowboy more than the broken bones and the wreck is what that woman
down there in that ranch house is gonna do when she finds out the truth about what really
happened here. She just might go out and pull the neckyoke off'n that hay wagon and do away
with him just to save herself the expense of patchin' him up and replacin' that pickup.
Keep a leg on each side and your mind in the middle and you'll never have to walk home.
©2004 Slim McNaught